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A British version tells of a henpecked husband who drinks too much at the office Christmas party (which he wasn’t supposed to have been at in the first place), throws up on himself, stops to buy clothes so the wife won’t know, and catches the train home: A friend wasn’t feeling well, but just couldn’t see how he could miss the office Christmas party, so he took the train to town and over-indulged himself enormously, with the result that he was really very ill in several directions at once.So on his way back to the station he stumbled into an army surplus shop and asked for a pair of trousers — quick, here’s a fiver” — the assistant stuffed them into a bag, and the man just managed to scramble into an empty compartment on the corridorless train back home.They enjoy the rest of the appetizers without interruption, but he has to go back again during the entrees. During dessert, our hero feels another rumbling, but doesn’t want to look like a complete bathroom freak, so he holds it.After a few minutes, the rumbling subsides, but he still has a bit of gas stored up.“Do you mind if I run in and buy a sweater that I was looking at last week? “No problem, I’d like to look around too,” she replies. Fortunately, at the Gap, men’s fashions are on the right, women’s fashions are on the left. Our hero grabs the first sweater within reach, and hurries back to the khakis.

As great a story as it is, we doubt it ever happened to anyone.He maintains this yoga position for the rest of dessert, trying to figure out what to do before his tan pants to show stains on the outside.He quickly pays for dinner and they leave the restaurant. On the way to the train station, they pass the Gap.After several hours of this, he is able to stop puking, but he is still running to the toilet every ride).They get to the restaurant, and he excuses himself during the appetizers to use the bathroom.

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